Anxiety & Nature

Heightened anxiety in the outdoors is real. Primitive, even. It makes sense, on a scientific level, that we feel more on edge when out in nature with our children than when we are indoors. There are unknowns, our brain is operating in fight or flight mode, and we are constantly evaluating risks.

One of my initial catalysts into exploring nature with my boys was my experience with PPA & PPD. The fresh air, vitamin D, beauty, and quiet that nature provides quickly improved my postpartum depression. Anxiety, however, was an entirely different story.

The more I went outdoors with my boys, the more anxiety I felt. While the initial onset of PPA felt irrational ("someone is going to steal my baby anytime I sleep"), the anxiety I felt while adventuring was realistic ("he could fall off that log and break a bone"). I soon realized that adventuring outside heightened my anxiety instead of relieving it.

So what's a parent to do? Restrict all forms of adventure that involve anxiety? Ignore legitimate concerns and permit dangerous activity? I found myself struggling to land firmly in either camp and decided to search for some middle ground.

If you desire to explore nature with your children, but you're wrestling with anxiety, I'd wager it's because you care. You want your kids to experience the beauty of the outdoors because you care about them. You also want to keep your kids safe because you care about them. Knowing this, I'd also wager that you care enough about your children that you don't want your inhibitions to prevent them from developing their capabilities and experiencing what nature has to offer.

CALCULATED RISKS

The fact is, being outdoors is always risky. Bears can attack, kidnappings do happen, and I swear some kids have a death wish. This is where taking calculated risks come into play.

Allowing your children to take calculated risks enables them to discover their talents as well as their limits. By taking a step back and letting them lead, we're also allowing our kids to establish their own relationship with nature. But how does one practically let their kid take calculated risks? The biggest shifts I have made have been how I check in & the boundaries I hold.

Reframing how I talk to my kids has been extremely helpful. Instead of "you looked scared" I try to opt for "how're you feeling?". Instead of "I don't know about that" we can ask "do you want to try?". It's amazing how small changes, like the words we use, can have a big impact on our adventure. It's also amazing how capable our kids actually are when we don't allow our fear to run the show. Try checking in with your children by asking questions and encouraging them to evaluate how they're doing.

Of course some things, especially with our oldest being only six, are off limits. Boundaries are healthy and necessary. But it is vital to be thorough, consistent, and communicate. We need to think through what risks seem permissible and which ones seem unwise, then we can establish timelines and circumstances, and communicate them until we're blue in the face.

Once we've determined what risks we're willing to take, and we've communicated those boundaries with our children, we are able to actually do them.

DOING THINGS SCARED

There was a season where I couldn't shake the fear that one of my children was going to be hit by a car. I'll spare you the details but this fear was heavy & constant. It often kept us from adventuring until one day I was fed up enough to really think it through.

So what did we do? We went to our neighborhood park (by crossing a street) A LOT. Every time I felt that specific fear crop up, I'd choose to cross the busy street and go to the forest that day. And you know what? No one got hit by a car.

By addressing that fear head on, we were able to learn about road safety, put it into practice, and I was able to overcome my fear *enough* that it didn't prevent us from exploring. It was through this experience that I realized being courageous had a lot more to do with being willing than feeling confident.

From then on, we chose to "do things scared." This phrase became a mantra for our family. When our boys' courage wanes in the midst of an adventure, we remind them that being brave often means doing things scared. We can be responsible by calculating risks as much as we're able, but often times we will still lack the security and confidence we desire. And, to be honest, we need to recognize that we are never entirely in control. We can do everything in our power to keep our kids safe but we are not God.

Allowing my boys to take intentional, measured risks has been wonderful for their personal growth and extremely challenging for my own. While dipping my toes into adventure has felt paralyzing at times, I can honestly say that the outdoors has been the best exposure therapy for my anxiety.

My hope is that by taking calculated risks and doing things scared, you and your children are able to experience the majesty of nature in an intentional, courageous way. If anxiety is holding you back from exploring nature with your kids, know that you are not alone. Being an outdoorsy family doesn't mean we are fearless explorers, it means we are willing to take the risks in order to reap the reward. The outdoors are risky and being aware enough as a parent to consider this reality shows that you care for your children. But don't let fear run the show. Determine to face your fears for the sake of your children.